Flasz On Film

Dear Mr. Cameron,  

I am writing to you on behalf of what I can only imagine is a sizeable minority of film-lovers who have been suffering in silence for the last couple of decades while you were laser-focused on delivering Avatar, its sequel Avatar: The Way of Water and a slate of upcoming follow-ups, some of which will take a decade to complete. I fully appreciate the ambition and scale of this lifelong aspiration to turn Avatar into a self-sustaining cultural universe, however difficult it may be to engineer. I am sure turning this dream into a reality occupies your busy schedule to the fullest.  

However, seeing how the universe of social media has recently swollen with news items relating to the recent release of your latest film on physical media and the impending re-release of Avatar to complement it, I am forced to act and voice my utmost regret that you have successfully found enough time to oversee the process of remastering the 2009 Avatar, as well as commissioning and deployment of ample special features forthcoming with the physical release of The Way of Water, yet here I am – together with thousands if not millions of disappointed fans – impotently waiting for the long-awaited release of 1989’s The Abyss and the 1994 True Lies, both of which have been not only rumoured but openly promised they were ready to be released on at least a dozen of occasions in the last decade.  

I am fully cognizant of the possibility that, much like any filmmaking visionary, your mind lives permanently in the future, as your gaze is always focused on what’s ahead and not necessarily on what’s behind you. This is understandable. Disruptive voices advancing cinema – be it technologically or otherwise – contribute to the driving force moving the medium forward. However, at the same time, many of us – filmgoers and fans, many of whom see a lot of your work as formative for their cinematic upbringing – relish the past just as much as we eagerly anticipate the future. I am sure I am not speaking only for myself when I say that films like The Terminator, T2, Aliens, The Abyss and True Lies form a part of nostalgic foundation for an entire generation of film-obsessed fans and that the very idea of periodically coming back to revisit these magnificent movies in the comfort of our own homes is something we cherish.  

Unfortunately, despite our relentless cries and prayers, some of these films remain either completely inaccessible, or involve making concessions regarding the quality of their available release. At least where I currently reside, True Lies is only available as an artificially upscaled master on Disney Plus, where it can be whisked away at any moment by the powers that be with no other recourse. The Abyss remains available only as a Standard Definition master on DVD, the viewing experience of which severely undermines the epic nature of the film itself. We have been promised remastered editions of both movies for years, which at this point has become a meme. Many of us have lost hope, because it may just be that you also lost interest in bringing these movies back into circulation.  

Have you decided against releasing True Lies and The Abyss because in your mind they are imperfect movies? Is it because the recent remasters of The Terminator and T2 were met with criticism relating to excessive tinkering with digital noise reduction? In any case, let me alleviate your concerns, if you have any in this regard. It really does not matter. At this point, we have been starved for so long that a barebones Blu-Ray master would probably suit us just fine. However, I wouldn’t say no to a 4k UHD Limited Edition of The Abyss inclusive of both the theatrical cut and the special edition, bolstered by featurettes, trailers, at least a handful of commentaries and the making-of documentary that I know exists. Same goes for True Lies but I will be happy with a remastered release of the theatrical cut flanked by audio commentaries from you, and a separate one with Arnold Schwarzenegger and Tom Arnold. Call it “The Two Arnolds” if you want.  

It would really mean the world to me (and others, too), if I could pre-order these two movies today. My wallet is ready. My nostalgia gland is in a desperate need of being tickled by seeing Arnold ride horses, fly Harrier jets and save his family from baddies, and by seeing Ed Harris save his marriage and the world through his selfless sacrifice.  

In conclusion, please consider that many of us do not care anywhere near as much about seeing Avatar, a movie we have ready access to and which already looks great the way it is released across both physical media and streaming platforms, re-released only to contribute to its exorbitant revenue. What we want is just a simple possibility to reconnect with our formative years and at this point we are tired of being ignored as disappointed dads. We have already quite a bit on our plates. Our life experiences have been dominated by strings of supposedly once-in-a-generation crises all happening in close succession and at this point I’d like you to think about doing one thing for us dads who every day plod along to keep this world from collapsing upon itself. Consider giving us a vehicle to reconnect with all remaining aspects of our youth.  

Release True Lies and The Abyss at your earliest convenience.  

I am begging you.  

This madness has to stop.  

Yours,  

Jakub, on behalf of all elder Millennials and late Gen-Xers whose lives would be immediately improved if they could see Ed Harris fish for his wedding ring in the toilet in stunning 4k UHD, or at least in a perfectly serviceable Blu-Ray incarnation.